Legion

Here I am, visiting at TCNJ, and we(Alexa and I) went to see Legion. It was kind of a "we've come full circle" sort of movie because of the old times with Paul Bettany. But anyway, the movie was awesome for me, because any movie where Paul is scampering around half naked and being beaten with a mace is really a good movie. I take a movie like this for what it is, a ridiculous excuse for slaughter and gore and in that regard it's perfect. The best part is the underling homoerotic tension between the two angels- the whole stroking his face scene was totally unnecessary and I loved every minute of it. Very glad I got to see it, and definitely a movie worth seeing as long as you like people being possessed, guns, explosions, death, gore, and the occasional psychotic grandmother named Gladys who rips somebodies jugular out.

Glee! *BaDing*

I have finally started the first season of glee and I love it. I absolutely can't wait to see more and more and more. I haven't yet finished the first season, but the concept of the show is fabulous, and in every way it just works. It has got it all- dancing, singing, and drama. The show is amazing, and the talent is unbelievable. Each character is played perfectly, and they complement each other so well. And the quotes are great, especially Sue's. Every word out of her mouth I could laugh at. Great show to watch over my 'spring' break!

The picture is of one of my favorites- Kurt, the adorable flaming gay boy whose body is "like a chocolate rum souffle". I'll end with one of his quotes: "Every moment of your life is an opportunity for fashion". :)

A Resolve

Sometimes you just have an epiphany, and you may not expect it to happen, but there you are having a moment of realization. For me it was earlier today, walking back from work in the lab. It was flurrying out, very pretty, and as I listened to an old song I hadn't heard in years on my iPod, I began to think about myself and more particularly my self image. To add to it, I came back here to my room only to read Davey's article An apology to my body. I identified a lot with it, and all of a sudden, it was worded right in his article for me: I must not only recognize the struggles I have gone through with my body, but I must make peace with them and resolve to learn from them and become better for it. I have, for a long time now, just moved on from certain struggles with my self image and body image without really dealing with them. I may have defeated them, but I never looked back and truly dealt with the pain they caused me. Without doing this, I really can't grow to become somebody who can wake up most days and be okay with myself. That's my goal, and I need to make a few changes to get there. Although I'm not quite sure how to go about this, I have my goal, and that in itself is a good place to start.

Deathtrap

Hey everyone, sorry about the break from blogging, but things were getting a little bit hectic. So here we are on Valentines Day. and I barely feel up to even acknowledging the fact that it exists. Just another day for me. It was an eventful weekend for me, it started with the cast/crew dinner party which was a load of fun, followed by hitting up Waterworks, the gay bar/club we tend to go to. It was nice to get out and dance and even be a bit sloppy like every other Siena student. And after the mentoring program on Saturday, we went to see Deathtrap at Homemade Theater up in Saratoga. The play was written in the late seventies by Ira Levin. The performance was wonderful, I knew the two lead characters and they were beyond amazing, exceeding all of my expectations. I was also impressed by the writing of the play itself, it was just right for the stage, and everything came together perfectly.

Davey Wavey :)

For those of you who don't know, this is Davey Wavey. Davey is an internet celebrity of sorts, who gained a following through youtube. He now has a blog where he posts written articles as well as videos of himself. Davey writes and speaks about his life, his views on certain issues and pretty much anything else he feels like. A large amount of the criticism of Davey comes from the gay community, where people criticize him for basically being too gay. This may come as a surprise to some people who don't understand the deep hypocrisy of the gays, but it is an unfortunate truth about the community. There is a lot of internalized homophobia that LGBT folks carry around, and a lot of the time it gets directed at other LGBT people. For example, people that haven't fully come to terms with themselves, and who aren't comfortable with their masculinity, or lack there of, judge Davey because he has come to terms with himself, and he does love himself.

Although I am a very different person from the person that Davey comes across as, I love the fact that he is himself in his videos. I love that he can be shirtless, and be happy and gay and talk about anything he feels like. Whereas I do not have his confidence nor his positive outlook on life, I can still take a lot away from what he has to say. I envy Davey because in some ways I do believe he is more at peace with himself than I am.

I have been reading and watching his blog for the past few days(I even subscribe now!), and I felt I had to write something about him, because I will continue to read his blog and listen to what he has to say. It will not stop bothering me that people wil judge him for being happy, that people will take time from their day to tell him he will burn in hell, and comment on articles about how annoying he is, when in most cases these people just can't take the fact that he is happy. Some of them may just disagree with his message, however it is really pathetic that some people can't just move on- it really says a lot. I choose to accept this person I don't even know, probably never will, and I urge you - my faithful readers - to accept him as well. Not to love everything he says, or necessarily even agree with it. But accept him because he is just doing his thing, like he has a right to, and he spreads a positive message. If you don't like it, you don't have to subscribe to it. Literally. So bugger off, and do something else with your time.

That seems like enough for today, and it is getting a bit late, so I am going to sign off for now. Sweet dreams :)

Motivation

The flavor of this week seems to be motivation. In varying levels, ranging from nonexistent to functioning. At the moment I am listening to Harvey Danger, Flagpole Sitta. It really is just a great song that came on the radio and made me happy.

Currently, my motivation is at an all time low, my priorities are mixed up and confused, and I have no clear direction. Although this is how I normally feel, it is just a bit too much to handle. I can;t focus on the small goals, and I'm not getting anything done. I can't coast through a bad day, because every 5 seconds is a reminder that I live in a dump. The internet fails every minute or so, the showers are shut down daily whenever I need them- particularly when I really have to go the bathroom really quick and that stupid sign is hanging there, because it takes people upwards of 3 hours to clean the bathroom. It is just too much to put up with some times, and the fact remains that I don't have a definite living situation next year, which certain people don't care about changing all that much. I just need a break, but there is no break in the near future. Which means I just need to get the BEEP over it, but I'm having a problem with that. I wanted to go to the gym to relax today, but as I went to get dressed I realized I left my shoes at home, so I actually went and bought more, because I really need to use the gym to calm down. Overall this week just seems to emanate fail, and I am less than pleased about it. Hopefully next time I will actually have something to say, rather than this rubbish I am about to publish.

SAD FACE.
D: